I have started journals with “I met someone”, decorated in tears, ersatz heartbreak the colour of blue painted his eyes in Van Gogh starry nights and chased highs to forget the blows. I have tasted champagne on his lips, strawberry tart and regret bitter, strange emptiness that spreads through all the crevices he touched and […]
I never understood Love I grew up reading of Mr. Darcy’s and yearned for a love that could withstand a war, like Snape for Lily, always. Love was a sonnet, a ballad, it was the curl of his lashes throwing shadows upon his cheek as the morning sun hinted at the day ahead. But Love never read like […]
He said I love you like he meant it and at some point, I believed him. That point came a few years too late but that’s not really my point. My point was that I should have loved him back in a way that could accurately describe red to a blind man but red is […]
So… I realized something today. The reason why it’s so hard to see your boyfriend/girlfriend’s ex. It’s because they’re a reminder that the person who means the world to you (currently) had a life before you. Even more… Exes are a reminder that they can have a life after you. That they will have a […]
When I was sixteen, my idea of a perfect life was to be a travelling bartender. My goal was to make enough money to move on to the next town and so on, so on, in such a pattern. The point was to travel the world. It wasn’t to be rich or famous or anything […]
Somedays, my fingers remember tracing the contours of your cheeks. Your lips. Your arms. They remember racing through your hair and my lips… Oh, my lips, remember being caught in yours. Somedays, I awake breathless with pain, gasping with bitter longing for something past. Something passed. I remember, and it’s the remembering that hurts most. […]
it doesn’t actually feel like much of an option. but then again, nothing really feels anymore, these days. this crazy empty longing burns a hole inside me. i’ve been reading a lot lately. mostly pretentious stuff. i’ve also been thinking a lot lately, and we all know that’s never good. it recently occurred to me… what my understanding […]
I knew that time would now pass for me differently than it would for him – that I, like everyone in that room, would go on accumulating loves and losses while he would not. – John Green Deficiency It was supposed to get easier the older I got. Missing you, I mean. I spent years […]
lessons of summer 