the reasons i let him go

I let him go because after the initial romance faded all that was left were bitter arguments of how much he felt I didn’t care.

I let him go because I couldn’t live up to the idea of who he thought I was. The fantasy of the girl I should be. I let him go because he wanted more than I could give; because he was ready for a future that I wasn’t and probably wouldn’t be ready for, at least not for a long, long time.

 

I let him go because I kept drawing comparisons with our relationship.

For a change, I was the one who was loved and I didn’t know until now that being the one who’s loved is smothering.

I let him go because I finally understood how you felt when we were together.

I let him go because I love him enough to want him to be more than a secondhand love… the way you let me go.

I let him go because it was the responsible thing to do; no one should ever be made to feel like they don’t measure up. Nobody should bend to someone else’s terms in a relationship.

 

When you’re with someone, it should be on equal footing.

I let him go because I needed to learn who I was before I could put time into learning someone else.

I let him go because you broke me, and he healed me, but I’m not done healing, and I need to be whole before I can fully love another.

 

I let him go because he loved me more than I could ever grow to love him, and that scared me. It still scares me.

 

I let him go because I’ve only just figured out how to let you go, and in doing so I’ve realized a strength and beauty in singlehood that I never saw before.

Nobody tells you what happens after the fairytale ends or what begins.

 

My new chapter is exciting and I hope vibrant.

I’m finally comfortable in my own skin, and it’s selfish of me to feel this way, but it would’ve been more selfish had I stayed. So I let him go because it was the only way to restore fairness.

 

I’m not sure he sees it that way yet, but I wasn’t and am not ready to be the world to someone. The feeling is flattering, but stifling all at once.

I let him go because he wasn’t you, and in realizing that, I finally understand why sometimes you’re the one who’s loved and sometimes you’re the one who loves.

 

Thing is, I’ll wait till I meet someone who will love me as much as I love him.

I don’t think he exists yet but I know for damn sure that I don’t exist yet, not for my perfect someone, so in the meantime, I’ll wait. I’ll grow, I’ll mature, I’ll change, I’ll live and one day, when I’m ready, my prince will come. 

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