i’m not preachy, but recently, i’ve been.
the problem with the Y generation, or generation whY as i like to pun, is that we’re constantly bored. and living in Shanghai has brought that out more than ever. despite everything being convenient and at my fingertips, despite or rather, in spite of all the parties, i’m just BORED. capital B-O-R-E-D. all the damn time.
and i don’t really know what to do about it.
Shanghai forces you to grow up. too quickly, too slowly, whatever. the end result is you’re left feeling alone and lonely, surrounded but infinitely broken. it highlights the animality of people. brings into harsh light the surreality of moments, the fleetingness of passion and the horridness of being human.
and honestly, what does that even mean? being human.
that we feel more and think less? that we reach for stars even while our fingers blister and our hearts burn?
that’s the thing about being bored. it reaches deep into some unseen part of your soul and stretches your being until you realize you can’t feel anymore nothingness, but still you do. it pervades your senses and ensnares your mentality until all you are, yourself, is a big, black gaping hole of nothingness that sucks other people into your nothingness.
i’m so bored.
and there’s nothing i want to do.
and that’s the point.
because there shouldn’t be nothing i want to do, when at the same time, all i want is everything.
a reason to feel.