how to destroy yourself and another

i think part of the problem is that i want to want you too badly.

i miss being a part of an us. not a singular. i like the feeling of being able to hold hands with someone, to cuddle and miss or be late to appointments because you don’t want to leave the sanctuary of being in someone’s arms.

i want to be in a relationship more than i want to be into you and that’s the problem.
that i recognize that. and that i acknowledge that. 

because i don’t know what you want or if you even see us like that.

and that’s what i want. 
a you. whoever. someone to fall into and fall in with. 

what’s the word?


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