things i never understood, and my attempts at sarcasm to cover sadness.

1. fell in love with a random stranger.

everyone starts out strangers. but you meet someone, and the universe aligns for the moment, and it’s stars and whispers and late night calls and fun sex and drunken make-outs and holding parts that aren’t hands, and nobody really falls in love. we just call it that to seem normal. 

2. smiling, laughing, partying because you’re sad

and that’s what i’ve noticed in shanghai. that’s what i’m noticing more, and more. that the unhappier you are, the harder you party. i’ve never met someone who was genuinely happy out partying on a random thursday night. 

3. it’s always in the last place you look.

no, really? if i’ve found it, why would i keep searching for it? although… that’s strangely apt for our generation. 

4. i want to text you so bad, so i won’t.

because you’re going to be a memory. a really, really nice memory of a what-happened-one-drunken-night and it doesn’t matter if my heart pangs for what i hope could’ve been a could’ve been. it doesn’t matter if i want to see you again, because you’re gone and stalker tendencies are sooooo uncool. and so i’ll move on from not ever having loved you. 

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