i don’t want the reasons anymore. not the reasons to not get back together with someone, not the reasons for loving someone, not the justifying. i think we’re past that point.
i find myself pathetically wondering at 20 what i’m meant to do with my life. i used to be so full of laughter, so full of sadness, so full of things, just full, and now, i’m not. i’m a half shell, a deflated balloon, a sadly whispered choo-choo.
i used to want to hold on to a million things because holding on to the past is a reminder that it was real, that it happened. i’m a hoarder, and i’m not ashamed to admit it, because i don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting something tangible to keep hold onto an intangible past. memories will fade, and pictures will fade, and scars will heal, but at least with something physical, you can still touch it. still present it to others and be like, “yes, it happened. and here, i have proof.”
but the thing is, i’m starting to get tired of reading “how to get over your ex” articles. i’m starting to get tired of seeing titles like “6 reasons not to get back with someone”, or “how to forget loving someone” pop up on my screens.
because i don’t want reasons to forget you. i don’t want to give reasons for why i want only you. no. i just want to love you until the day i don’t anymore.
and the truth is there are no explanations. no reasons. no justifications. it just is, and why can’t we just accept that?