it’s sobering. the thought that life moves on whether or not you want to.
it’s filled with heartache, not break, because ache is deeper. it cuts beyond the basic emotions, mostly, it’s filled with lost and longing.
September’s approaching, and with it my friends preparing for school to reopen. It’s a sobering thought that I’m not going to be there and it’s full of bittersweet misgivings. I’m thankful for having a head start in my life, and I’m thankful for my life, but I can’t help but be filled with a deep ache at wanting to be there still, living the college dream, going to the first pit night, going to to classes, hanging out at wreck… i miss those things.
i think growing up is filled with an intangible awareness that permeates your being. you become better equipped at dealing with the idea that things are fleeting, but you also commit more to memory, because you know that things will end soon.
i don’t know what i’m thinking these days, but i do know that i wish i was there with a longing that reaches deep into my bones.
i could whine and ask when life became so hard, but the truth is the answer won’t matter at all, because differences can’t be made despite.