i heard that you’re settled down, that you found a girl, and you’re married now

… i heard that your dreams came true, guess she gave you things I, couldn’t give to you…

Life happens.

Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia (John Green), it fills you with ambitions, dreams and hope, but imagining the future only, is also a desperate half life. Much like living in the past is blasphemous. We shouldn’t hold on to the things that used to matter, because every present becomes a past. 

I’ve always loved the duality of life, the irony behind things. I’m a sarcastic and ironic kinda gal, y’know, the Jungian thing? Born to kill on one side, peace sign on the other. 

Some say I think too much. Maybe. But… Thinking is a sign of consciousness, and for me, my thoughts are the most important thing in the world. It’s the one thing I have that is all my own. The one thing nobody can ever take from me. Somedays, my thoughts are constellations I cannot fathom, then there are days, when the stars align, and all I’m left with is blinding epiphanies. 

There is a difference, I think, between embracing the moment and living, and living day to day. The difference lies in complacency. We’re all only human, and excuses are all very well and good (hell, I make up the most ridiculous, convincing excuses in the world), but excuses can only last for a while before people realize and move on. 

Life is a pretentious game of survival. There are always things to be done and things to do. Present, past, and future tenses. The great secret, I think, to enlightenment, is to reconcile the things we want and don’t, the things we have and can change with the futures that are vague.

John Green may have been right when he said that “Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia”, but it’s what we do with this knowledge, this “imagining” (if you will) that counts. Most would say that it’s akin to catching smoke with your bare hands, but I think otherwise.

The longest thing we’ll ever do is life, and life happens. We’re all afraid of living because we’re afraid of death, but we try our best anyway, because our ancestors nailed it before we did. They understood. 

There are two sides to any coin, sure, everyone knows that. But it’s what we do with the two sides that count. We can’t just say yea, there’s this side and there’s that side and leave it at that. It’s the fusion that matters. What we do with our knowledge. It’s always the doing that counts. 

… Some say, I’ll be better without you, but they don’t know you like I do, or at least the sides I thought I knew…

Success, is the ultimate revenge.

– Adele



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