the things i’ll tell myself at 16 if i ever procured a time machine

you may never be as happy again.

dear sixteen year old me,
these are the best times of your life, and i mean that in the least cliched way possible. you will never be as skinny, as athletic or as smart ever again. school work will become considerably more challenging. there will never be anymore easy As and every fry on your lips is forever on your hips past the point of high school graduation.

you may feel disenchanted and disillusioned by life and the people around you, but believe me when i say you will never feel more at home than with these other privileged screw ups you called friends. you will never be able to party as irresponsibly again, so enjoy yourself, go to school hungover and start all over. don’t worry, things work out. you do get into the university your parents wanted you to, but unlike what they’d planned, you’ll eschew ivy league education for the happiest place on earth. no, i don’t mean disneyland. i mean canada, vancouver to be exact, and you’ll have chosen it for the best reason ever. to put as much distance between you and them and you’ll be happy, but you won’t be as happy as you could be. ultimately, it won’t matter. happiness is subjective. make all the same mistakes anyways.

in fact… don’t change anything. just enjoy yourself to the fullest. don’t alienate your friends when you turn 18, don’t question the hierarchy or wonder “what’s the point”. save yourself the trouble, it’s a roundabout (believe me, you’ll end up exactly where you started), and at the end of it all, when you “grow up”, you’ll look back and the only thing you’ll regret is having wasted part of high school hating yourself.

seriously though, you will never be happier than you were at 16. and it’s sad, but it’s sadly true. don’t waste it by being belligerent or fighting against the establishment. you were happier being mindlessly popular anyways.

sincerely,
20 year old me.

ps: people will still go “omg. you can read? but… girls like you just don’t look like you do”. but take it with a grain of salt. it’s just a backhanded compliment. i think.

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