I want to run and just keep running.
I find that the simplest solution my mind can come up with is often to run. Be it homework problems or relationship problems, my go-to response is to run away, in both the literal and figurative sense.
There are so many things that I want to do, places I want to go and people I want to see. However, as anyone who knows me can tell, I’m too easily distracted. I have no clear goals.
See, for the longest time, I thought I wanted to write. But I have a list of goals a mile long, and though most of them are simple tasks, they are tasks that I’ve yet to complete because I’m constantly finding excuses to not do them. In my mind, there is always tomorrow. And my conviction to do it tomorrow is always so strong.
If I were honest? It seems that my tomorrows are endless.
So yes, despite my automatic response, despite the fact that I want to keep running, this time… I’ve decided to run towards something.
Imagine if you will, that life is a track, and the goal? Adulthood. Ascension. The top of Maslow’s hierarchy. If I am compelled by my nature to keep running, then who’s to stop me from achieving? Who’s to say that I can’t turn my con into a pro? No one but myself.
It seems that I am my greatest enemy after all.
So this is my reason for starting a blog.
I want to write something from the heart. Something funny, and often, cliched. Something that I can look back at and not cringe from. Something that I’ll be proud to someday publish.
Something that I can cross off my list of things that 15 year old me thought she wanted to do.
I want to write because I want to get off my butt and do something that I can take out and flourish about and say, “hey! I did something! So there! Ha!” I want to write because I have to write, because there are too many dreamers out there and yes, I’m a dreamer, but I’m also a realist. An enigma at her best. A configuration of oppositions. A floundering adolescent thrust into her role of adult by society. I want to write because I want to write. Because I have things to say and by God do I think they’re worth listening to.
So this is my hurdle in my search of a Great Perhaps.
I am writing because I want to find some profound truth amidst my rubble of rambles, and these, are my so-called Lessons of Summer.